I’m not sure I’m even qualified to adequately give a response to you… it sounds like you’ve been in a low place, for a long time now. I’m sorry, and I hope the medication can help you reach a better, more stable and fulfilling place. It happens– I know lots of people who need medication to help with depression and other issues. The brain can be chemically imbalanced, and negative behaviors can be reinforced.

I can commiserate with you, to a large degree: My graduate program has been off-course for far too long, as well. I have great difficulty communicating with my thesis advisor, leading to some great frustration, and to me being attached to a dying project– I’ve been pressing to get one good paper out of it, but even that may not work out if the data isn’t reproducible enough. So as soon as possible I’ll be meeting with him in the hopes of finding a new project or some new directions to give me some hope of actually getting my PhD.

I’m lucky, in that I have Teisha, and friends, and family, who have been very supportive. And I always try to step back and realize that my work isn’t my life, and make time to enjoy my time with them, and hobbies, and the simple joys (like walking on the beach).

I sincerely hope that you, too, can find things to keep you happy in hard times. Get in touch with me sometime- if you’ve forgotten, my e-mail is bonham at this website.